ATLANTA – (Satire News) - Every national news media organization is saying that Kelly Loeffler looked like a cross between a zombie, Ann Coulter, and a Stepford Wife.
Many who watched the Georgia Television Debate between “Hairzilla” Loeffler and Democrat Raphael Warnock asked if Kelly was actually an Ann Coulter clone.
iRumors asked how in the world she could keep her head up with 47 pounds of hair sitting on her shoulders.
CNN’s Don Lemon stated that the 50-year-old creepy zombie hadn’t cut her hair since she was 2.
Even Fox News host Greg “The Gerbil” Gutfeld, 76, said that he could clearly see her split ends along with about 103 dandruff flakes.
And almost everybody asked why the GOP robot and Trump rump-kisser had to repeat the phrase “Radical Liberal Raphael Warnock” at least 47 times.
Vox Populi, reported that Loefller was so sullen and so lifeless-looking, that, during the commercials, the debate director actually checked her pulse to see if she was still alive.
Meanwhile, even the First Lady, Melania Trump, chimed in, saying, “My greatchus gewdness, Meese Muffler ease eeben more sheety lewkeen dan dat Kelly Ann Conway beach.”
