WASHINGTON, D.C. – (Satire News) – A highly-respected White House insider has overheard President Trump telling Michael Flynn and Kayleigh McEnany, that there is no way on earth he is going to go to prison.
POTUS, who is in deep shit, as they say down in Georgia, has already made arrangements to flee the United States on January 19, the day before Joe Biden’s inauguration.
In fact, Trump is going to flee to Scotland, and Melania and Barron are moving to Slovenia.
Trump’s dysfunctional kids, Ivanka, Donnie Jr., and Eric plan to stay in the United States for the time being, but iRumors is saying, that they could all very well end up in the big iron bar hotel.
Eric has already told Sean Hannity that he has very long fingernails, and is not worried, because he knows he can claw his way out of any prison - except, maybe, for Alcatraz.
He quickly added that Alcatraz is an island, and he’s afraid of sharks, jellyfish, and certain types of minnows.
The President has already made sure that the town in Scotland that he is fleeing to, has at least one McDonalds.
Meanwhile, in a non-related story, Kanye West says he’s seriously thinking about running for mayor of Skunk Spray, Kentucky.