WASHINGTON, D.C. – (Satire News) – President Trump has decided to use one of his 700 ‘Get Out of Jail Free” cards to pardon Michael Flynn and keep him from becoming an inmate at Sing Sing Prison.
His press secretary, Kayleigh McEnany, has hinted that others who will also get “pardons" include his kids, Ivanka, Eric, and Junior.
Boom Boom News, has stated that, outside of the immediate family, anyone else in his staff, or in his political party will have to pay anywhere from $100,000 to $250,000 to receive a life-long pardon.
When told by several reporters that this was highly unethical, not to mention illegal, POTUS replied, “So am I going to jail or what?”
Yes, yes, yes, came the reply from three different reporters.
Trump was asked what his plans for Thanksgiving were. He said that he and his third wife, Melania, are planning on having 800 of their closest friends over to the White Folks House, for a good old fashioned Thanksgiving Dinner and pumpkin-bob.