Evidence of election rigging has roiled New Zealand's "Bird of the Year" competition after a case of ballot-box stuffing has threatened to derail avian democracy.
Suspicion began when organizers received more than 1,500 votes sent from the same email address with each vote in favour of the little spotted kiwi Pukupuku, according to a statement from Forest & Bird, a conservation organization that runs the election.
This triggered mass street-and-pond protests by New Zealand’s avian populace to Stop the Count, led by the Main Duck Donald. He is also known as the Main Quack because of his penchant for endorsing miraculous cures to virulent pandemics.
The Main Duck alleged voter fraud, bribery, Communist infiltration, and Venezuelan money that helped Steal the Election primarily from the Quackers. The Main Duck also tweet-quacked that Dominion Voting Systems deleted and switched votes cast for President Donald Duck in favour of the Kakapo.
These pro-Quack votes were cast by the Whistling duck, the Shoveler, the Russian Baikal teal and the Chinese Mandarin Duck; The Muscovy and Peking ducks; the hoopoes, vultures, loons, dodos, turkeys, cuckoos, grouse and @#$% bustards.
SeaGulliani, head of the Quacker legal team, filed lawsuits in 5 ponds and lakes, seeking to overturn the legitimate win of the Kakapo, who patiently bidened its time. Needless to add, the avian justice system tore the allegations to shreds, and dumped the scraps into the Duck Country (DC) Swamp.
The quackers screeched ‘Fowl’, and Donald threatened to duck his presidential responsibilities in protest, and go golfing for birdies.
Refusing to concede, Main Duck has asked his loyalists to contribute to funding his legal bills to prevent his position being usurped by the genteel Kakapo.
A wise old owl has whispered into Donald’s ear that ‘duck’ signifies zero (if you are into cricket) and that such undemocratic behaviour will amount to nothing.