Donald Trump Offered New Book Deal, Once He Achieves Full Literacy

Funny story written by Monkey Woods

Tuesday, 24 November 2020

image for Donald Trump Offered New Book Deal, Once He Achieves Full Literacy
Trump going over the basics earlier today

He might be toast as far as a second presidential term in the White House goes, but Donald Trump was already planning out his life post-President this morning, as he revealed details of a lucrative offer to write a book detailing his time as US leader.

After he's learnt to read and write properly, that is.

Trump is known as someone of a 'literary bent'; that is to say, his literacy is skewered somewhat. He loves tweeting on Twitter, but does so in the style of a young child, making cataclysmic schoolboy errors in spelling, grammar and punctuation.

Not only does he write like a child, but he also thinks like one.

Trump famously awarded the Nobel Peace Prize a new spelling of 'Noble', and consequently didn't receive it.

He regularly struggles with the simplest of literary principles, with hand-eye coordination, with brain-mouth communication, and with human-to-human communication, but it is his failure to be able to use regular English words and phrases correctly and in simple structures, that is making many leading publishers wary.

A representative of one such publisher said:

"These fiction fantasy books are great, and I'm sure it will be a bestseller, but Trump's incoherence might prove a bit too challenging for many readers."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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