Massachusetts Cancels Thanksgiving – Thousands of Pilgrims Are Pissed

Funny story written by Abel Rodriguez

Tuesday, 24 November 2020

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Millions of Massachusetts turkeys are thrilled the governor cancelled Thanksgiving.

BOSTON – (Satire News) – The governor of Massachusetts, Charlie Baker is catching hell over his decision to cancel Thanksgiving.

He told Boom Boom News that he decided to cancel the traditional holiday, due to the increasing number of citizens in his state who are coming down with President Trump’s Trumpapalooza virus.

The governor stressed that he is sorry that the state’s 132 turkey farmers will be losing their asses, but pointed out that they can make it up by doubling the price of turkey eggs.

Meanwhile, the states more than 1.8 million pilgrims are up in arms, and say that they are ready to take their commemorative muskets off the walls, and drive to the state capital.

One feisty female Pilgrim, Hester Marie Cricketcreek, 74, says she is planning on borrowing her grandson's Harley Davidson motorcycle, and riding to the governor’s mansion, and personally stuffing him with 2 pounds of Stovetop Stuffing.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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