Written by Absolute Bull

Thursday, 22 November 2018

image for Trump pardons turkey. Lifts sanctions on Ankara.
Remember this turkey on the right?

The video of from President Trump forgiving one well-fed turkey on the White House lawns went viral. Trump marked the occasion with a speech saying that forgiving turkeys would make America great. The recipients of the Great Presidential Pardon were two turkeys named Peas and Carrots, so called for their vegan preferences in diet rather than any America Great Hamburgers or Beef Steaks.

Trump then proceeded to draw an analogy between the mid-term elections and the fair and square ‘election' of Peas and Carrots. Which raised a few nervous laughs from loyalists.

In his first year as President, Trump had pardoned Drumstick and Wishbone, who alas, are no more, as the turkeys were gifted to the Saudis to honor the billions of dollars they had given to make America great by creating jobs in the armament industry. Trump was praised for being the world's most successful arms dealer, giving the Saudis the green light to bomb the Yemenis back to the stone age.

Trump had handed over the turkeys to his Saudi hosts and is alleged to have muttered under his breath: ' Here are the two turkeys for a bunch of turkeys'.

Not quite comprehending the nuances of American idiom, the Saudis laughed and cheered and called forth the Royal Chef, who was given custody of the two birds. There are unconfirmed reports (Fake News) that Trump feasted on a drumstick and almost caught a wishbone in his throat at the sumptuous royal dinner that evening.

Needless to add, the Saudis appreciated the gift of the turkeys and told Trump that one Turkey was bad enough, but two turkeys being eliminated was a good sign.

Trump remembered the embarrassment of selling America's finest weaponry to "a bunch of turkeys" and was in control of the situation when he pardoned Peas and Carrots. In fact, Trump got so carried away by talking turkey for a full five minutes that he vowed never to sanction the demise of turkeys for future Thanksgiving dinners in the Trump household.

Of course, before the world's media (without CNN), Trump got it garbled and vowed to lift all sanctions on Turkey.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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