MUFFLER SMOKE, Michigan – (Satire News) – President Trump spoke at his latest post-election campaign hate rally before a crowd of 14 people, including a 99-year-old woman with an emotional support beaver.
The President said that he will never admit he got his ass kicked, even though a person living in the most remote part of Siberia knows he lost like no president before him ever has.
After the 2-hour-and-47-minute speech, he was asked by CNN’s Jim Acosta if he was now willing to admit that his big, beautiful border wall was a gigantic failure.
Trump replied that, yes, he would finally admit that he literally wasted $4.9 billion of taxpayers money, for a piece of shit wall that did not keep even 10-year-old girls out.
He further noted that he lied about Mexico paying for the wall. When Acosta asked him why he lied about it, POTUS shrugged his shoulders, and said, “Because, Jimmy, I have always been a no-good son-of-a-bitch pathological liar.”
Acosta gave him a fist bump, and replied, “Thanks for finally admitting it, sir.”
“No problem, James, my pleasure,” replied the outgoing president of the USA.