Surprise, Surprise, Donald Trump Didn’t Win

Funny story written by K.C. Bell

Saturday, 14 November 2020

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"I did too win! You just can't count."

Donald Trump planned that his hand-picked Supreme Court would throw out all the mail-in ballots. But guess what happened?

Mail-in ballots were not thrown out; they were received, counted, and accurately gave the majority votes to the Biden-Harris ticket.

Election night on Tuesday was depressing. How could this nightmare be happening? Again? Not four more years of Oompah in the White House? How could we have failed our founding fathers who gave us this treasured nation?

Hey, God, did you fall asleep? Are you mad at us? Is this a form of intentional cruelty?

Then, Wednesday morning happened. Whoopee! Get up, get up, you sleepy head...

Democrats were too traumatized to stir, much less turn on their television sets. And the entire democratic half of the nation could have continued sleeping for the next four years, but one brave soul turned on the news and, like the song goes, What a difference a day makes...

In this case, it happened overnight. The mail-in votes were being counted, and Biden was winning and winning, ahead, in state after state, leaving Oompah in his starting blocks, with him and his sons yelling fraud.

By Saturday morning, the Biden-Harris ticket was projected as the winner of the 2020 Presidential Election.

Oompah had been more-or-less torpedoed out of the White House. Adios!

However, he hasn’t exactly accepted his eviction notice. He’s holding on to the door frame with both hands, attempting a series of Mickey Mouse court appearances to delegitimize the vote count, or mail-in ballots, and claiming many votes were cast by the dead.

While Donald Trump is in a combined state of denial, anger, and bargaining to stay in office, he'll never reach acceptance, but, instead, skip for an afterlife in 2024.

Escalator, going up!

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The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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