Jeff Bezos Plans to Buy Fox News and Fire Everybody, Including Hannity, Carlson, and Dobbs

Funny story written by Fannin Fabriano

Saturday, 19 September 2020

image for Jeff Bezos Plans to Buy Fox News and Fire Everybody, Including Hannity, Carlson, and Dobbs
Jeff Bezos has so much clout in the news business that Sean Hannity won't be able to get a job as a newspaper boy.

NEW YORK CITY – (Satire News) - The richest man in the world has just made an announcement that has lots of the Fox News divas shaking in their Buster Brown flip-flops.

Jeff Bezos, who has more money than the entire seven Central American nations combined, told TMZ that he has had enough of all of the tons of blatant lies that emanate from the hate-spewing mugs of Fox News “liar mongers” Sean “Fred Flintstone” Hannity, Tucker “The Zombie” Carlson, and Lou “The Bullfrog” Dobbs.

The Amazon mogul says that Laura “Horse Face” Ingraham will also have her lopsided ass kicked to the curb as well.

Bezos says that he intends to turn the Fox News Channel into the Amazon Shopping Channel, where viewers will be able to buy everything from frozen sushi to 18-wheeler trucks at a fantastic discount.

Lauren Sanchez, who is Jeff Bezos girlfriend, told TMZ that Jeff is planning to keep Chris Wallace and Brett Baier, who are the ONLY two hosts at Fox News who are truly FAIR & BALANCED.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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