Samsonite banks on Trump win, would sell 200,000,000 suitcases as Americans move to Canada

Funny story written by Dr. Strangelove

Saturday, 31 October 2020

image for Samsonite banks on Trump win, would sell 200,000,000 suitcases as Americans move to Canada

Popular luggage maker Samsonite announced yesterday, in a conference call with investors, that if US President Donald Trump wins reelection on Tuesday, they expect to sell around 200 million suitcases and handbags on Wednesday, as the majority of Americans move north to Canada.

"It'll be a bonanza. We've been making arrangements with our suppliers for months, and are very much looking forward to a Trump win," said company CEO Ramesh Dungarmal Tainwala.

The company also hopes to sell an additional 38 million pieces of luggage in the coming weeks, when the existing residents of Canada move to Europe or Asia.

Samsonite stock shot up 425% after Friday morning's announcement.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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