LAS VEGAS – (Satire News) – Political Salad Bar Magazine has stated that a computer hacker has hacked into President Trump’s campaign website.
A private computing anti-hacking company told PSBM that the hacker is extremely professional, and was able to crack Trump’s password, which is “kingdonaldthefirst”, in a record-setting password-stealing 17.3 seconds.
Mistletoe Bulova, with PSBM, stated that the hacker had allegedly found a list of female names that Trump, reportedly, has balled, going back to 1997.
Some of the names are well-known actresses, singers, comedians, prostitutes, and even some Republican female senators.
Miss Bulova also divulged that the hacker found a very personal text message that Trump sent to Mexico’s President Enrique Pena-Nieto in 2017.
In the text message, Trump begged President Pena-Nieto to please pay for the border wall, so the American people won't think that he's a lying, spineless, low-life wimp.
But the thing that may be the most damning of all, are dozens of text messages that the “Prick-in-Chief” sent to Stormy Daniels, promising her that, when he divorces Melania, he will marry her making her the fourth Mrs. Donald J. Trump.