OUAKER OATS, Pennsylvania – (Satire News) – The iRumors News Agency is saying that ever since Trump left the hospital against doctor’s orders, and is now going back to not wearing his mask, lots of his supporters are starting to abandon him.
Delta Apricotti, a Philadelphia native, said that, at one time, she would have taken a pie in her face for the man she said was more handsome than George Clooney, but now she says if Sasquatch eats him, she’ll settle for President Pence.
Pundits, including those at Fox News are starting to feel that the Pied Piper of The Potomac is going to lead his flock of sheep supporters into the Coronavirus River.
Many of his campaign staff members are catching the Trumpapalooza virus like Philadelphia Phillies outfielder Bryce Harper catches flyballs.
Meanwhile, the First Lady, Melania, has confided to her pedicurist, that, after the President loses the election on November 3, she is taking their son Barron and escaping to New York City.