MOSQUITO RIVER, Florida – (Satire News) – The Tampa Bay Bugle Bulletin is reporting that El Presidente Trumpo’s Coronavirus-infested campaign hate rallies will be continuing as scheduled, no matter what.
Yes, Captain Coronapalooza and the Trumpapalooza Flying Circus will be setting up their tent in Mosquito River, Florida, home of the largest mosquito infestation east of the Mississippi River.
The mayor, the sheriff, and the coroner have said that his traveling band of GOPers are going to spread their Republican disease to innocent citizens of the town that is known for its amazing Papaya Margaritas, and for being the official home of shelter crocodiles.
Trump's chief adviser, Ivanka Trump, commented that people have to stop spending so much time and energy worrying about the Coronavirus.
Ivy, as Howard Stern calls her, said that she kisses her daddy full on the lips on a daily basis, and she is as fine as Napa Valley Wine.
She went on to say that it is very, very rare that Republican people come down with COVID-19.
Jared's wife paused and actually admitted that the devoted Trumptards are more likely to come down with strep throat from all the ass-kissing that goes on within their ranks.