Rodents R’ Us: A Sleepy Joe Exclusive By Dirty Trick Detwiler

Funny story written by Dr. Billingsgate

Tuesday, 13 October 2020

image for Rodents R’ Us: A Sleepy Joe Exclusive By Dirty Trick Detwiler
Carl Spackler

BILLINGSGATE POST: Outlined against a somber blue-grey October sky in Washington, President Trump brings back images of Pestilence as he plots the extermination of the rodent-like Sleepy Joe as the time of the final debate draws near.

As part of the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse, Pestilence rode with Famine, Destruction and Death in the biblical charge to wipe out earlier epochal versions of tyrannical liberal hypocrisy. Time will tell whether this latest variant will be defeated.

On October 22, President Trump will debate the bobble-headed masked rodent in an anticipated free-for-all that has the Nation’s voters on the edges of their seats. Crack BILLINGSGATE investigator, Detrick "Dirty Trick" Detwiler has been following the flow of this predictable one round TKO.

While using a combination of computer algorithms and human intelligence, Detwiler has been sifting this mass of information to discern the "tonalities" that have been shaping election modalities as November 3 draws near. This approach by Dirty Trick has put him at the forefront in identifying key political trends weeks before those changes appear in traditional forums.

In a carefully edited exclusive filched from the desk of Dirty Trick by a pencil-neck geek poisoned by a dope-addled mind, that Trump, who claims to have never met a rodent he liked, sought advice from the voluble Carl Spackler, of Caddyshack fame, as to how to avoid the same mistakes Spackler made in his epic battle with a recalitrant groundhog.

Spackler, hardly a neo-con, but nevertheless, an advocate of law and order, suggested, upon the advice of Judge Smails, that the President remain unflappable and not underestimate the determination of a litigious rodent, especially when the varmint sets his mind to destroying the American way of life.

Dirty Trick Detwiler, no newcomer to this type of campaign, will carefully couch his language as he disassembles nuances from the usual nonsense promulgated by Sleepy Joe.

Slim: “If this doesn’t win you the Pulitzer Prize, then Pulitzer is a jerk.”

Dirty: “Yo, Dude. It’s not like you to stand behind me. Do so at your own risk.”

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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