Trump Virus Infects Entire White House

Funny story written by Mike Peril

Saturday, 12 September 2020

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Washington, DC - Everybody at the White House has it. The entire Republican Party, too. Currently, so does forty-three percent of the United States. It is the disease known as the "Trump Virus".

President Trump won't speak of it. He deflects, calls it the Chinese Virus, or the Wuhan Flu, but the majority of Americans know better.

"The Trump Virus can infect everyone but children," reports Dr. Anthony Fauci. "It's that false belief that Donald Trump is actually getting the Nobel Prize, or that the virus causing the pandemic has faded away. It's the belief that Donald Trump was telling us the truth, that he didn't want to scare us, when he called Covid-19 a 'Democratic sham'. It's the uncanny ability to believe anything Donald Trump says."

Testing is performed through nationwide polls. Texas, the Dakotas, and the Deep South have been hit hard, as well as nearly half the population in most "swing states". But states along the east and west coasts have largely been spared, along with most city populations. Statistically, older men and white men without a college degree, and Evangelicals, are particularly vulnerable.

"Beware of the Trump Virus," tweeted Dr. Fauci. "It can kill us all."

For questions, contact The author greatly acknowledges the contributions of fellow reporter Bob Woodward.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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