Bob Woodward Is President Of The United States

Funny story written by K.C. Bell

Friday, 11 September 2020

image for Bob Woodward Is President Of The United States
"Suburban women beware if Joe Biden becomes President!"

Who knew? All this time, Bob Woodward, author of All the President’s Men, was President of the United States!

Donald Trump said, “If I really, really told Bob Woodward coronavirus was serious, why didn’t HE make that announcement? Why did HE keep it under wraps for six months until HE published a book?”

Huh? Huh? Gotcha! Ya bunch of yellow-bellied, thumb-sucking, fake news, no-good, sissy, hacks!

Stirred from a nap, and hearing Trump’s Shakesperian defense and accusation, Woodward was heard yelling by passers-by, “Because I’m not President of the United States, you wood-chuck!”

While the world thought Donald Trump would announce his resignation at the unscheduled press-conference, hopes were soon dashed.

Instead, Trump came out and dragged on and on about how well he was running the country and what a lousy job the last guy did. People in the US were all getting better and better. The death rate wasn’t as bad as in India. Blue states? Not so good, but so what? Oh yes, Joe Biden is a bumbling idiot, and his son is selling American companies to China.

His excuse for not cautioning people about coronavirus was he didn’t want to start a panic. Someone says, “HI,” to you, you’re dead in four weeks. Two, if you’re lucky.

But if Joe Biden wins the White, White, White House, you can bet, (you simple-minded suburban women) your neighborhoods are going to be invaded by black, brown, tan, beige, red, and tattooed gangs on motorcycles, and all hell’s going to break out before dessert. You'll need more than pots and pans, you’re going to need guns, smoke bombs, rubber bullets, tear gas…

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The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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