HICKORY NUTS, North Carolina – (Satire News) - The president took his Presidential Hate Campaign to the Hickory Nuts Capital of the World. After spewing his standard 82 lies per speech, he closed by saying that he does not understand why the enemy…
Alex Jones, purveyor of crackpot conspiracy theories, is now saying that Melania Trump's RNC convention speech is proof that the Obama's have access to Hillary and Bill Clinton's time machine. Wait--what the hell? Yes, Alex Jones is pushing the...
It was a sad day for Superman fans to discover that their shiny spandex wearing hero is not so super after all. It turns out the man of steel has a few imperfections which all serve to prove without a doubt that the famed hero from Krypton is nothing...
On this day, I was assigned the job of fact checking the speech announcing the presidency of Donald Trump (aka The Donald, Donald the Duck, The Mouth.) I went to my desk, as I have one, and began downloading his speech so I could fact check it. As...
Nelson Mandela always had close ties with Canada where he always found support, according to one reporter who shared with us yesterday. "I was there when he told the crowd, "Your respect for diversity within your own society and your tolerant and...
Bradenton, Fl - The future is he-he-here now. Dragon speech rrrecognition software performed fl-flawlessly. Ca-control your co-co-computer with your voice. Wh-wh-when you talk, your comp-p-puter types with extreme ack-ack-accuracy. It trrransfo...
HOLLYWOOD - Merrit Wever, who is not exactly a household name in the celebrity world, won an Emmy for Best Supporting Actress for her role on HBO's Nurse Jane. Wever did something that 99.9 percent of the winners cannot do. She actually took her a...
For the sake of those not familiar with the double-speak required of the modern Beltway politian, and who lack the historical context needed to dig out the burined meanings, we provide the following translation of the President's recent speech: My fellow Americans, tonight I want to talk to you about Syria, why it matters and why we can't go anywhere from here. Over the past two years, what...
For the third time in three days President Barack Obama has again broken down in tears. In his latest outburst of uncontrolled sobbing and bawling the United States President was actually seen to collapse in a wretched heap onto the steps of the Whit...
Washington, D.C - For the last several years, Governor Romney has been suggesting that being president of this country was, to a certain extent, about character. Well having served in the position for over three years, our President will tell you without hesitation: Being President and Commander and Chief of this country "is" entirely about character. We've watched and studied the Governor's pr...
POLITICAL FACEBOOK Elisabeth Hasselbeck: Hello Ann. Are you there? 9:01 a.m. Ann Romney: Yes, I'm here. How are ya Lizzy? 9:04 a.m. Elisabeth Hasselbeck: I'm great. And girlfriend let me say that I watched your GOP National Convention speech and you did fantastic. 9:09 a.m. Ann Romney: Thanks Lizzy. You don't think that I over did the color red do you? 9:12 a.m. Elisabeth Hassel...
Despite years of intensive, and expensive, speech therapy, Priscilla the talking Poodle can still not pronounce her "L"'s and "Y"'s. She is now doomed to go through life telling her doting owner and best friend "I wuv woo!" The dog, a popular subj...
TUSCALOOSA, Alabama - Mitt Romney's presidential campaign tour bus pulled into Tuscaloosa, Alabama, the town made famous by the 60s Petula Clark song, "Me Bloomin' Heart's In Merry Olde England But Me Naughty Bits Are In Tuscaloosa." Romney spoke...
Kevin Elvin of Luton has been left literally speechless after he received what he believed were Spanish language tapes from BiLingua. "Kevin bought the tapes from eBay," said his wife, Ella Elvin. "They were faulty though." According to Kevin'...
The recent speech by Labour Party Leader, Ed Miliband, has caused furore, outrage, annoyance and even amusement amongst some supporters. Filled with words, sentences and on occasions, full paragraphs, the speech went on for almost an hour about lo...
We are the ones we've been waiting for. But I want to just shift gears today. I think about what it will like when I first bring them here upon the memorial's completion. That is the true genius of America, a faith in the simple dreams of its people, the insistence on small miracles. Our party has chosen a man to lead us who embodies the best this country has to offer, spending on everything fr...
A top elocution expert has backed actor Emma Thompson's broadside against modern teen speak. Thompson, speaking to pupils at her old school, complained that filling sentences with expressions "like" and "innit" made young people sound stupid. A...
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