Desperate to win another four years of spewing lies and baloney onto the general public, Donald Trump has decided the only option is to become a Democrat. "I never liked Republicans anyway," he shouted at journalists. "D is for Donald and Democrat, T is for Trump and Turncoat. Get it?" An usher at the door laughed.
"I've always admired Biden and that other woman. Great people, and I'll give 'em good jobs once we're re-elected. And Nancy Pelosi is a wonderful leader. I've always said that. She's the greatest Pelosi we've ever had."
The news came as a shock to many Republicans, though strangely criticism was minimal. In fact, many could be seen dancing in the streets and party membership rocketed 25 % within an hour of the announcement.
Reporters asked how he would oust Biden, should he win. "I'm incumbent," stated Trump. "Don't know what that means, but it must have some clout. Besides, we've moved the furniture around since the last time Joe was here, so it would be much easier if I were just to carry on. I think people will appreciate that. Yep, there's a certain logic to that."
Kitchen staff at the White House looked on and smiled. "That guy'll stop at nothin'," said one staff member. "He's plain nuts, man, plain nuts."