NEW YORK CITY – (Satire News) - The man who once had more influence on President Trump, except, of course, for Ivanka, has been taken into custody.
Steve “The Face” Bannon has been charged with 17 counts of lying about lots of things including the border wall, Lake Michigan, Eric Trump’s IQ, and saying that Ivanka’s tits are fake.
Bannon says that he has never mentioned Eric’s IQ (69) to anyone except for Stormy Daniels.
The FBI has stated that they have been watching the man who once said he would jump in front of a blimp for DJT, for the past 71 days.
An FBI spokesperson said they have Bannon on videotape taking checks that were meant for Trump University, and depositing them in a fake account under the name Dimples LaRue.
Dimples LaRue is the fake name that Bannon used when he personally delivered the hush money checks to Stormy Daniels and Karen McDougal.