WASHINGTON, D.C. – (Satire News) - Trump’s lawyer, Segundo Juarez, told Sean Hannity of Fox News that the President did, in fact, collude with Russia just prior to the 2016 election.
Juarez added that the reason the President does not want to reveal his taxes is because it will show three illegal deposits totaling $4.3 million from President Vladimir Putin that were deposited in three of Trump’s personal (fake) accounts in the Deutsche Bank.
Trump's attorney noted that it would not take a brain transplant surgeon to put two and two together and figure out that the "Golfer-in-Chief" colluded with the Kremlin.
The President told Hannity that Putin deposited $1.7 million in his fake John Barron account, $1.4 million in his fake David Dennison account, and $1.1 million in his fake Carmelita De Las Chichi’s account.
Juarez contends that President Trump had no idea that Putin had deposited money into his three fake accounts.
He said that he just learned about it a week ago, when he heard MSNBC’s investigative sleuth Rachel Maddow mention it on her award-winning show.
Legal experts say it is really no big deal, because all Trump has to do is simply pardon himself.