Heatwave is 'fake news' claims BOJO!

Funny story written by Jaggedone

Thursday, 6 August 2020

image for Heatwave is 'fake news' claims BOJO!
This mother of everything living is causing quite a heated stir between the EU and UK!

(UNEDITED) Under the influence of his best 'amigo', who sits in his oval office claiming on Twitter that everything is 'fake news' unless it flows out of his perverted gob, BOJO, has followed suit claiming an approaching heatwave about to descend on the UK is 'fake news!'

Daily Express, grand supporters of BOJO's far right ideals, supported him by claiming floods, snow and ice are expected to wallop the UK within days and the heatwave is 'fake sent' to the UK from Spain because English tourists are clogging up their beaches, not social-distancing, nicking reserved areas for their more affluent clientele, Germans, and boozing Brits should really remain on their beloved island.

Angie Merkel stepped into BOJO's 'fake news' claim and offered the following statement:

"Ve Deutschen have our own real heatwave, much better zan ze one in ze UK and hope our folk vill remain at home because our economy needs ze dosh!"

Spain reacted claiming Merkel's comment is selfish anti EU policy, and should keep her mouth shut because they need German dosh not British £s. In addition, Germans are much more welcome anywhere in Spain, apart from no-go zones, Catalonia, Madrid and Aragon!

BOJO attempted to enter the EU heatwave discussion but the 27 EU countries told him to 'fuck off back to Washington!'

Scottish first minister, Nicola Sturgeon, kept out of all claims that a heatwave was coming because Scotland always freezes its butt off summer or winter!

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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