Steamy-hot temperatures were almost too much for one man yesterday, when contrary to the laws of human biology, his blood started to boil. Moys Kenwood, 55, had been teaching in the air-conditioned classrooms at the school where he works, when he...
The UK was today left reeling after a brief spell of cooler weather. Children were seen staring at the skies in wonder as spots of warm rain fell for the first time in months. One school has planned a weeks' lessons round "warm clothing". Teacher,...
It seems that the incredible European heatwave has more consequences than hot, sweaty bodies, people escaping to waterholes, burnt grass, forest fires, lack of booze, tarmac melting, OAPs dropping dead, and our world is nearing an apocalyptic end, NO...
Desperate measures are being taken, it seems, in the recent heatwave, as a Merseyside man held up an ice cream van with a machete. The Liverpudlian desparado claims he had been passed by no less than four vans in his quest for a 99 for himself and...
The current unrelenting humid, sticky, overly-moist heatwave that is sweeping the UK, is putting the nation's children at risk, says a new survey, out today. The survey, commissioned by "Overprotective Parents UK", states that more and more child...
The UK heatwave which has been heating and waving for three weeks now, has 'knackered' a man's lawn in Shropshire, it has been alleged. The man, Les Jonno, says that the unseasonal 'red-hot' temperatures have put paid to decades of diligent, deter...
The heatwave that has been literally 'heating' the United Kingdom at the moment is having a devastating effect on plantlife, and the country's grass is the driest it's been since 1976, or, as it's become known in some circles, the Summer of the Ladyb...
Wildlife Sanctuaries across the UK are feeling the effects of the heatwave, with many more animals than usual crossing their thresholds every day. One Sanctuary ,"Debbies Donkeys" in Wales said that every morning seagulls are queueing by the door...
Tony Hemmings, 33, the cock of the walk in Basingstoke has realised that despite Gareth Southgate's leading work in the field, waist-coats are not the defacto male clothing to be worn during a heat-wave. 'Imagine my surprise, to be following the s...
For those of us basking in the recent heatwave taking care with the sun cream, there are others who are not being so careful and are risking serious heatstroke. The NHS has reported a massive increase in people who believe that England have just w...
The continuing heatwave which has seen temperatures across the UK rise to same levels as other countries across the world, has brought with it an influx of complaints. Apart from the usual "it's too bloody hot" whingers, the general public is comp...
A woman was today denied an ice cream by a seriously fat vendor in an ice cream van outside a school. The woman had had a particularly long, hot, difficult day at work had just been thinking that if there was an ice cream van parked outside the sc...
Thousands of UK residents have been locked outside due to the unusual high temperatures in February caused by El Nino the "beast from the west!" Retailers all over the country are struggling to provide boiling-hot customers with shorts, flip-flops, a...
A heatwave hitting Phoenix, Arizona is causing several problems and not only to humans! Jaggedone and his CIA (Cockroach Infiltration Army; very appropriate here), is on a chilling-down trip escaping from Brexit lunacy in the US. As soon as he lan...
The heatwave affecting most of Europe has caused many people to create methods of getting some sleep. In fact, such situations sometimes bring out the very best in people (and sadly sometimes the worst!). Here are Jaggedone's methods for UK suffer...
As Britain resides in the grip of a paralysis due to a foreign invader (the sun) Back and to the Left news decided to get some insight into this deadly heat wave. We spoke to Sun journalist Farr Right to try and gauge the nation's feelings on these,...
Gladys Hornswagger of Morristown, Tennessee blames her ruined date with 'that hot nerd' Griffin Gaskey, on their date at the new Taj Palace Plus Restaurant in nearby Knoxville. The proprietors told the couple that their food was authentic Indian b...
Windsor - "Bloody country's going to the dogs if a bloke can't have his little blue pills," a wrecked isle dysfunction specialist at the Palace said today as searing temperatures continued to cook Prince Philip's giblets. The nonagenarian curmudge...
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