As the Olympic track and field trials near an end here at Autzen Stadium, hopeful contestants in the peeing for distance competition were forced to take shelter in a cooling area as temperatures reached 110 degrees on the field. It is unlikely that t…
VANCOUVER, Canada – (Satire News) – Canada’s Royal Mounted News Agency has just announced that the temperature in Vancouver hit 121 degrees at 5:05 pm. The heat was so powerful, that there are reports that some of the city’s stop signs were warped…
SEATTLE – (Satire News) – The city famous for coffee, Bill Gates, and asparagus, has just hit a sweltering heat index of 119 degrees. Many residents of Seattle stated that anyone who still does not believe in climate change is either stupid, hard-…
(UNEDITED) Under the influence of his best 'amigo', who sits in his oval office claiming on Twitter that everything is 'fake news' unless it flows out of his perverted gob, BOJO, has followed suit claiming an approaching heatwave about to descend on…
The extremely hot weather that's being enjoyed by the whole of the UK is set to continue during the first half of this week, but after that, it's going to be back to normal for most of us. Record temperatures have been the order of the day, along...
WAYS TO COOL DOWN IN SMALL WAYS INEXPENSIVELY AND EFFICIENTLY. Put a pan of water in back of a fan- it will act as a mini air conditioner The following foods are known as refrigerants - they cool the body down from within. Eat or drink these:...
Weather forecasters across Europe have said that the searing temperatures that are currently causing so much discomfort to so many people in so many countries, shows no sign of letting up, and is set to continue until it cools off a bit. The heat,...
Uncommonly hot weather has seen temperatures in Europe soar this week, and, to illustrate just how hot it was, a woman in the Spanish capital of Barcelona fried an egg on the bald part of her husband's head. Ernesto Valdez, 58, told his wife repea...
There was drama in Germany today, during some abnormally hot weather, when Chancellor Angela Merkel was taken to hospital when her head melted. Merkel, 64, was standing next to Ukraine president Volodymyr Zelensky in Berlin, listening to the two c...
Steamy-hot temperatures were almost too much for one man yesterday, when contrary to the laws of human biology, his blood started to boil. Moys Kenwood, 55, had been teaching in the air-conditioned classrooms at the school where he works, when he...
The UK was today left reeling after a brief spell of cooler weather. Children were seen staring at the skies in wonder as spots of warm rain fell for the first time in months. One school has planned a weeks' lessons round "warm clothing". Teacher,...
It seems that the incredible European heatwave has more consequences than hot, sweaty bodies, people escaping to waterholes, burnt grass, forest fires, lack of booze, tarmac melting, OAPs dropping dead, and our world is nearing an apocalyptic end, NO...
Desperate measures are being taken, it seems, in the recent heatwave, as a Merseyside man held up an ice cream van with a machete. The Liverpudlian desparado claims he had been passed by no less than four vans in his quest for a 99 for himself and...
The current unrelenting humid, sticky, overly-moist heatwave that is sweeping the UK, is putting the nation's children at risk, says a new survey, out today. The survey, commissioned by "Overprotective Parents UK", states that more and more child...
The UK heatwave which has been heating and waving for three weeks now, has 'knackered' a man's lawn in Shropshire, it has been alleged. The man, Les Jonno, says that the unseasonal 'red-hot' temperatures have put paid to decades of diligent, deter...
The heatwave that has been literally 'heating' the United Kingdom at the moment is having a devastating effect on plantlife, and the country's grass is the driest it's been since 1976, or, as it's become known in some circles, the Summer of the Ladyb...
Wildlife Sanctuaries across the UK are feeling the effects of the heatwave, with many more animals than usual crossing their thresholds every day. One Sanctuary ,"Debbies Donkeys" in Wales said that every morning seagulls are queueing by the door...
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