Colorado’s Marijuana Shops Are Breaking Sales Records

Funny story written by Abel Rodriguez

Thursday, 6 August 2020

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Colorado's marijuana business is booming due to the C-19 self-isolation and sheltering-in-place.

DENVER – (Marijuana Satire) - The Colorado State Cannabis Coalition has just released its mid-year sales records.

And the numbers show that the state has surpassed its 6-month marijuana sales record by 47%.

A rep for the CSCC stated that they attribute the big gain to the fact that there are so many people self-isolating and sheltering-in-place due to the Coronavirus, and many are starting to get extremely bored.

Another reason is that, since most of Colorado’s pot shops have implemented their free-delivery policy, the weed orders have skyrocketed.

One Denver pot shop owner informed the local media that he has had to buy three more Hyundai Santa Fes to keep up with his deliveries.

CSCC director Lucy “Sinsemilla” Coxcoogan reports that the state of Colorado now has more money in the state treasury than all of the New England states combined.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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