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Funny satire stories about marijuana

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Funny story: A Colorado Couple Celebrates Their 80th Wedding Anniversary With a Very Unusual Bowl of Jello

A Colorado Couple Celebrates Their 80th Wedding Anniversary With a Very Unusual Bowl of Jello

SWEET SMOKE, Colorado – (Satire News) – The Denver Claimer Clarion is reporting that an elderly couple from the town of Sweet Smoke, has just celebrated their 80th wedding anniversary. Braylen and Mimosa Waffle, were married in 1940, and have live…

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Funny story: Colorado Says The Marijuana Business is Up by 4,000 Percent

Colorado Says The Marijuana Business is Up by 4,000 Percent

DENVER – (Satire News) - The Colorado State Cannabis Coalition has just announced that marijuana sales have gone up 4,000% in the last three months. CSCC Director Lucy “Sinsemilla” Coxcoogan was asked by TMZ to explain the unprecedented increase.

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Funny story: Drug Enforcement Agents Find 2,000 Pounds of Marijuana in Yankee Stadium

Drug Enforcement Agents Find 2,000 Pounds of Marijuana in Yankee Stadium

NEW YORK CITY – (Sports Satire) - Sports Balls Illustrated Magazine has divulged that DEA agents, acting on a tip, went to Yankee Stadium to check out a report of possible drugs on the premises. A team of six federal agents scoured the stadium gr…

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Funny story: Colorado’s Marijuana Shops Are Breaking Sales Records

Colorado’s Marijuana Shops Are Breaking Sales Records

DENVER – (Marijuana Satire) - The Colorado State Cannabis Coalition has just released its mid-year sales records. And the numbers show that the state has surpassed its 6-month marijuana sales record by 47%. A rep for the CSCC stated that they a…

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Funny story: Guatemala’s Two Top Drug Cartels Are In a Big Drug War

Guatemala’s Two Top Drug Cartels Are In a Big Drug War

ANTIGUA, Guatemala – The Cartel Drug War down in Guatemala has turned into a ruthless, inhumane, and downright stressful situation. The two main factions are the Tapachula Hombres, headed by ex-attorney, Gomer Ixtantan, who is one of the best lawy…

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Funny story: Border Patrol Agents Sink a Canadian Submarine Trying To Smuggle Pot into the USA

Border Patrol Agents Sink a Canadian Submarine Trying To Smuggle Pot into the USA

DETROIT – Members of the United States Border Patrol report that they have sunk a submarine, in Lake Erie, that was carrying 265 pounds of marijuana. Agent Charlize Buckbush, 29, stated that the strain of marijuana, known as Montreal Moronic, is o...

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Funny story: Congress Moves to Lift Marijuana Restrictions

Congress Moves to Lift Marijuana Restrictions

The House and Senate are putting out an additional phase 5 legislation to help Americans reduce stress while facing long term "stay at home policies". "Hell, I can get joints like they were legal anyway," said Senator "The Turtle" McConnell, of Ke...

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Funny story: Willie Nelson Puts His Denver Marijuana Shop on the Market

Willie Nelson Puts His Denver Marijuana Shop on the Market

DENVER – Popular country music icon Willie Nelson, who is 86 years old, told The Denver Claimer-Clarion that he is putting his Colorado marijuana shop up for sale. The Texas troubadour said that, at his age, it is just too much trouble to have to...

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Funny story: The State of Colorado is Trying to Find A Strain of Marijuana That Will Kill The Coronavirus

The State of Colorado is Trying to Find A Strain of Marijuana That Will Kill The Coronavirus

DENVER – The Colorado State Cannabis Coalition has been asked by President Trump and Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi to try and come up with a strain of Marijuana that will combat the Coronavirus. Trump spoke with Virgil Chickarino, director of...

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Funny story: Colorado To Ship 3 Tons of Marijuana To California

Colorado To Ship 3 Tons of Marijuana To California

DENVER – The governor of Colorado has agreed to ship up to three tons of top grade cannabis to California. Due to the lack of rain, the Left Coast state has not produced as much pot as needed to meet the ever-increasing demand. California state...

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Funny story: Colorado Denies That Traces of The Coronavirus Have Been Found In The State's Pot Supply

Colorado Denies That Traces of The Coronavirus Have Been Found In The State's Pot Supply

DENVER – Governor John Hickenlooper of Colorado is very upset with President Trump, who mistakenly tweeted that traces of the Coronavirus had been found in the state’s supply of marijuana. Hickenlooper suggested that POTUS needs to worry about tha...

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Funny story: Dion Waiters Latest NBA Player to OD on Gummy Bears

Dion Waiters Latest NBA Player to OD on Gummy Bears

Miami Heat guard, Dion Waiters, is the latest NBA player to run afoul of THC-infused gummy bears. On his team's flight from Phoenix to Los Angeles on Thursday. Waiters, 27, suffered a raging panic attack after he had "overdosed" on THC-infused gummy...

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Funny story: GanjaScope Is President Trump's Favorite Read

GanjaScope Is President Trump's Favorite Read

We "heard it from a friend who, heard it from a friend who, heard it from a friend" that GanjaScope℠ is President Trump's "favorite read." That's what friend #1 (initials IT) told us. Friend #2 (initials KC) reports that "Donald has someone read [Gan...

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Funny story: Pot Is Dead

Pot Is Dead

If Nietzsche were alive today, he would have to declare, "Pott ist tot." Pot is dead. In Nietzsche's time, as in ours, these sorts of uber deaths occur long before most people notice. Indeed, there are still worshipers who attend church on Sunday, ev...

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Funny story: Presenting The Ganjascope℠, Your Horoscope on Pot

Presenting The Ganjascope℠, Your Horoscope on Pot

You hold in your hands (you're not still using a desk top, are you?) the astrological world's first Ganjascope℠, the horoscope that takes the logical out of astrological, that boldly goes where no other horoscope dares to tread (yes, the Ganjascope℠...

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Funny story: Propane-Driven Vape Pens Kill Three in Amish County

Propane-Driven Vape Pens Kill Three in Amish County

Bird in Hand, PA—News of the deaths of three unrelated Amish youths—Jacob Stolzfus, 18, Lucas Stolzfus, 19, and Cyrus Martin, 21—has exploded like after-market vape pens in this quaintly-named Amish community. The youth, who were all employed in the...

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Funny story: Sir Paul Caught on Video Attempting to Buy Pot

Sir Paul Caught on Video Attempting to Buy Pot

WINGHAM, near Sandwich, Kent, England—A potentially embarrassing iPhone 10 video in which Paul McCartney is seen attempting to buy marijuana in the rural village of Wingham, Kent, is in the sweaty hands of local authorities. Those of you who haven't...

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