WASHINGTON, D.C. – President Donnie Johnnie Trump says that it's time for him to put his bone-spur covered foot down, and show the anti-Electoral College protesters in Portland that he is the boss of them.
He told Fox News that the peaceful protesters have vowed to burn down buildings, loot stores, and write Trump Sux on police cars.
Trump says that it is his duty, as the duly elected Electoral College president, to make sure that the citizens of Portland do not deface posters which depict him in a red MAGA cap.
The President revealed that he is planning on leading the assault himself. He will be commanding members of the Green Berets, the Navy Seals, the KKK, the Hells Angels, and a dozen-or-so Boy Scouts.
POTUS was asked if he plans on using napalm. He smiled, and said that, if he has to, he will personally fly the plane that will drop the napalm.
In Closing - Trump, as he always does, later said that he was only joking about the napalm. He added that the USA sold off their entire supply of napalm to Iceland, shortly after the Vietnam War ended.