(Oregon)-Hexxus, toxic apparition and avatar of the forces of Destruction, was last seen on a fiery ridge in the Oregon Cascades complaining about how no one was able to see his sick gains because of poor visibility. “You know it takes a lot of ef…
WASHINGTON, D.C. – President Donnie Johnnie Trump says that it's time for him to put his bone-spur covered foot down, and show the anti-Electoral College protesters in Portland that he is the boss of them. He told Fox News that the peaceful protes…
Moving right along as soon as the media spotlight faded, the cowboys at Malheur ("bad hour"/aka "bad luck") Refuge, have torn down federal fence to install a gate to allow ranchers onto federal land. The question What Next? hangs heavy, according...
CORVALLIS, OREGON - Scientists from Oregon State University has released information concerning a top-secret project funded by the U.S. Government. According to Dr. Hendick Harvikson, head of the 5-year project known as "B.W.E.E.D." (Beaver Wate...
CRATER LAKE, OREGON - The U.S. National Park Service announced today that Crater Lake is officially empty of all water. Once known as the deepest lake in the U.S. and the 7th deepest lake in the world, Crater Lake is now the deepest empty lake in...
CORVALLIS, Oregon - A feminist group based in Portland, Oregon has traveled to the Oregon State campus in an effort to get the university to change the name of its mascot. Loretta Pattonelli, executive director with the group called Gals With A Da...
Oregon - Animal rights advocates in the state of Oregon are outraged after a recent discovery in the Wilderness areas of their state. Ostensibly a group of hikers, during an expedition spotted an entire colony of SHAVED BEAVERS! "It's sickening.
EUGENE, Oregon - Local authorities in Eugene are reporting that they have taken a woman into custody and bail has been set at $700,000. Early Friday, Eugene police were called to an address on Lumberjack Lane after getting a call that a woman had...
The entire state of Oregon fled sometime early yesterday morning, leaving behind 98,000 square miles of dirt, an old Subaru, and a note that explained, "It's not that we dislike California, but it's like having a neighbor who has way too many people...
HARFOLD, Vt. - Scientists at Harfold State College have come to some very different conclusions than their colleagues at the University of Oregon as to what a piece of 13,000 year-old poop means to the history of North America. "Our Oregonian coll...
Ashland, OR - At a press conference in this California-Oregon border town, Western governors announced a tri-state compact, the Prisons Going to Pot Initiative, transforming state correctional facilities into marijuana cultivation and processing cent...
Mohamed Osman Mohamud, was arrested Friday for attempting to detonate a fake van bomb at a Christmas tree lighting ceremony in Oregan. Mohamud had been under surveillance for 5 months by the FBI when the government was tipped off that he intended...
PORTLAND-- Taking their cue from Ashton Kutcher, the FBI staged an elaborate prank on a Corvallis, OR teenager who thought he was part of a Jihadist plot to kill Christmas. Mohamed Osman Mohamud, 19, a Somali-born U.S. citizen, mistakenly believed...
A teenager has been arrested in the US state of Oregon after allegedly plotting to carry out a car bomb attack at a Christmas tree lighting ceremony, potentially killing over 500 people. However, FBI had intercepted the bomb and stopped the attack. What do you think? Mike Thornes - Mobile (Burger-flipper) - "See! It's them moosulems. They want to attack of freedoms! All of them moosulems! I...
The blinding speed of the University of Oregon's top-ranked football team will again be on display this weekend when they play Southern California. The conventional wisdom is that the key to Oregon's success is a fast offense. So fast, in fact, t...
PORTLAND, Oregon - Reports coming out of northern Oregon state that several employees with the Ashburn and Greta Dalrymple Lumberjack Company have come down with a case that local doctors are calling Pine Flu. Slayter Hiddenlake supervisor with th...
Washington President Bush today managed to grab for himself part of the media attention surrounding the tentative bi-partisan agreement on the so-called bailout plan by explaining to the gathered Washington press corps just how he intends to finance...
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