My Bedroom, Early This Morning - A man who occasionally writes spoofs for TheSpoof.com had an utterly brilliant story idea as he was falling asleep last night; told himself that it was so funny that he didn't need to write it down, and then completely forgot it when he woke up. Grrrrr!
What was it about? Trump? Ivanka? Kushner? Yes, it was about Jared, for sure. What a douche! ...Wait, was it?
No, it wasn't. Shit!
Was it sports related? Canada? The Blue Jays not being allowed to play in Canada? Maybe...?
Maybe if I clear my mind completely, the idea will come crawling out across the floor like a little mouse, and I can pounce on it! Let's try.
Ommmmmmmmmmm... Ommmmmmmmmm... Ommmmmmmmm.
Shit, still nothing. Damn it! That's it, I really need to remember to buy sticky notes and a pen to keep beside my bed so I can jot these things down. But I don't have sticky notes and a working pen to jot down 'buy sticky notes and pen' on. That's a dilemma.
What was that friggin spoof idea about...?
Astronauts? Astronauts pooping? How do they do that anyway? Do they poop upside down with a seatbelt on? Sounds dangerous to me. Does it just get sucked right out into the solar system? Is the upper atmosphere full of space junk and turds? Maybe? Humans suck.
Shit, that reminds me, I was supposed to get up in the middle of the night and look for that Neowise comet. Guess I needed sticky notes for that too.
I wonder if any spoof readers will read a spoof about a writer forgetting a really funny spoof idea? ...Probably not. That's not a story. I wonder if any of them will rate the story with those little gold star thingies at the end of the spoof? ...Probably not.
The editor of this site, Mark, should change it from 5 gold stars, to 5 farting butt holes. Butt holes that actually make it smell like a fart when the reader hits the button. Is that possible? Mark probably knows Elon Musk, right? All those big-time computer gurus know each other. Yeah, I bet his old buddy, Musky, could make a key that makes a farty smell for him for sure. Like: Control > Alt > F or something.
So, 5 farting butts would mean that the story was terrible, like this one. And zero farting butts would mean that it was a great story—the best! So if you don't get any farting butts, you will know that you did a great job. Perfect. Mark should totally do that!
Now, I have to remember to write to Mark and give him this amazing idea!
Damn, now I really do need those sticky notes.
Shit, what was that spoof idea from last night? Come on! Come back to me for crying-out-loud! Please, stupid brain, work just one last time! I promise I'll buy sticky notes!
Wait? Was it about astronauts pooping in space? Kushner? What a douche!
Maybe if I stop writing this ridiculous story and go back to sleep, I will remember it when I wake back up.
(Oh, If you've read this far, please don't bother rating this story, I'm using my new farting butt hole system from now on!)