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Funny satire stories about Abraham Lincoln

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Funny story: Vice-President Kamala Harris Signs An $8 Million Contract With Converse Tennis Shoes

Vice-President Kamala Harris Signs An $8 Million Contract With Converse Tennis Shoes

WASHINGTON, D.C. – (Satire News) – One thing about being a US president or vice-president are the nice little monetary perks that come with the office. For example, President Abraham Lincoln sold the rights to his name to the Lincoln Logs Toy Comp…

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Funny story: Mount Rushmore The Scene Of Huge, Unexplained Landslide

Mount Rushmore The Scene Of Huge, Unexplained Landslide

Police and emergency services in the Black Hills, South Dakota, were called out to deal with potential casualties this morning, after an incident at Mount Rushmore left the world-famous site reduced to a pile of rubble. The location is known for t…

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Funny story: Native American Indian With Dynamite Arrested At Mount Rushmore

Native American Indian With Dynamite Arrested At Mount Rushmore

It's been announced in the last few minutes, that police in the Black Hills have apprehended and arrested a man carrying a quantity of dynamite in the area of Mount Rushmore. The man was said by witnesses to be a Native American indian, and looked…

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Funny story: WTF! Roy Rogers’ Horse “Trigger” Toppled By Masked Men

WTF! Roy Rogers’ Horse “Trigger” Toppled By Masked Men

BILLINGSGATE POST: First it was Confederate generals. Next it was Christopher Columbus and Junipero Serra. Revisionist wackos are now talking about nuking Mount Rushmore, where the busts of Washington, Jefferson, Lincoln and Teddy Roosevelt were ca...

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Funny story: Disneyland Replaces "Great Moments with Lincoln" with "Great Tweets from Trump"

Disneyland Replaces "Great Moments with Lincoln" with "Great Tweets from Trump"

Disneyland. Anaheim, CA. After nearly six decades as one of the most thought-provoking exhibits at Walt Disney's Anaheim theme park, the popular Audio-Animatronic presentation known as "Great Moments with Mr. Lincoln" will be replaced sometime this...

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Funny story: Trump Pardons Lincoln Assassin

Trump Pardons Lincoln Assassin

The White House. 24 minutes ago. Press Secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders called reporters to the Briefing Room a short time ago to announce that President Donald J. Trump had issued another celebrity-championed posthumous pardon. Today's recipient was...

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Funny story: Man Knows Nothing About US Politics

Man Knows Nothing About US Politics

A writer on the satirical news website TheSpoof.com has revealed how he 'aches' to write a story on US politics, but is prevented from doing so by his complete lack of knowledge on the subject. Moys Kenwood, 54, says he knows who Donald Trump is,…

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Funny story: Donald Trump's Lincolnesque Moment

Donald Trump's Lincolnesque Moment

The following is a transcript from Donald Trump's speech at Gettysburg, October 22, 2016. Gettysburg, PA--Eleven score and seven gropes ago our fathers brought forth on this continent a new nation, conceived by libertines, and dedicated to the pro...

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Funny story: What's Behind Lincoln's Face on Mount Rushmore?

What's Behind Lincoln's Face on Mount Rushmore?

The 16th president of the U.S. may be known as "Honest Abe," but he's been hiding a secret room behind his face on Mount Rushmore. The room is not accessible to the public, but through the use of long-distance, super duper X-ray technology, an int...

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Funny story: Lincoln Monuments Attacked When Americans Realize That He Created Income Tax

Lincoln Monuments Attacked When Americans Realize That He Created Income Tax

Upon reading an article in a national newspaper stating that Abraham Lincoln was the one responsible for starting federal income tax, angered Americans across the country began a hate campaign against all memorabilia of the formerly beloved President...

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Funny story: Brainy tot proves kids--even little geniuses--say the darndest things!

Brainy tot proves kids--even little geniuses--say the darndest things!

She's smarter than Abraham Lincoln (I. Q. 128), Bill Clinton (I. Q. 137), Napoleon Bonaparte (I. Q. 145) Sigmund Freud (I. Q. 156), Benjamin Franklin (I. Q. 160), and even Stephen Hawking (I Q. 160). Three-year-old Alice Amos, of the United Kingdom (...

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Funny story: Lincoln Highway to be Renamed Bob Marley Highway

Lincoln Highway to be Renamed Bob Marley Highway

CHEYENNE, WYOMING - The Lincoln Highway, created in 1913 and stretching 3400 miles coast to coast, from New York to San Francisco, will be renamed Bob Marley Highway in a ceremony this summer at the highest point on the highway, Sherman Hill, located...

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Funny story: "Second Coming" Come and Gone?

"Second Coming" Come and Gone?

There was a brief moment of what can only be described as pandemonium yesterday near the Lincoln Memorial at Washington's National Mall. A man claiming to be Jesus of Nazareth was seen to walk barefoot across the Reflecting PooL scene of many a p...

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Funny story: Abraham Lincoln to Switch Parties

Abraham Lincoln to Switch Parties

HEAVEN--In a tweet sent from heaven yesterday, Abraham Lincoln announced: "Watching the Party of Me turn into the party of Steve King and Don Young. Am switching to the other side, till my side gets its shit together." The founder of the modern Re...

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Funny story: South Dakota May Have To Sell Mount Rushmore

South Dakota May Have To Sell Mount Rushmore

KEYSTONE, South Dakota - A fact finding team comprised of three South Dakota state senators recently traveled to the Black Hills town of Keystone, South Dakota. They visited the Mount Rushmore National Memorial, site of the colossal presidential s...

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Funny story: Mt. Rushmore Mistaken for the Fiscal Cliff; Lincoln Loses Face

Mt. Rushmore Mistaken for the Fiscal Cliff; Lincoln Loses Face

Keystone, South Dakota - The Mount Rushmore National Memorial was severely damaged last night by a missile fired by a US military drone. The attack apparently was commissioned by Congress in what is now being called "a clerical error." "Our bad,"...

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Funny story: Bill O'Reilly Reveals Inspiration Behind His Books

Bill O'Reilly Reveals Inspiration Behind His Books

Fox News' chief of making speculation sound like actual facts, Bill O'Reilly, has revealed where he got the idea for his latest books 'Killing Lincoln' and 'Killing Kennedy'. O'Reilly, who co-wrote the books with the rarely mentioned Martin Dugard...

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