Mike Pence, the yawning white-haired guy who is always standing behind Donald Trump, trying to stay awake or hold his breath, announced he was going to go for it! Mike Pence would quit as Donald Trump’s Vice President and run for the nomination and the office of the Presidency of the United States.
Someone gave a loud Bronx cheer.
“Well,” Pence said, blinking, “I certainly did not expect that!”
“It was one of the Trump kids.”
“Oh, that’s okay, then. That’s how that gang communicates.”
Pence went on with his sleep-inducing presidential announcement, and how he and his lady would bring no sex to the White House.
Meanwhile, hearing of Pence’s announcement, Donald Trump got on the telephone to Bill Barr and put him on hold. Trump then began tweeting that Pence was: a murderer, bank robber, daytime burglar, shoplifter, was crooked, claims to be part-indian, belongs to the Columbian cartel, doesn’t change his underwear (if he ever wears any), hasn’t been to the dentist in eight years, has high cholesterol and athlete's foot, paints his hair white, was a lousy Governor, Vice President, car driver, takes diet pills, and lies on his income taxes.
He finally got on a secure telephone line with Attorney General Bill Barr, and asked that Barr become his Vice President and that he could also remain as his Attorney General and prosecute Mike Pence for treason, bigamy, and hit and run.
Attorney General Bill Barr replied that Mike Pence already offered him the Vice President’s gig. Pence said he could also remain as his Attorney General. Pence promised that if elected, Barr could prosecute Donald Trump and his entire family. Adding that, he also had the goods to do it.”
Attorney General Bill Barr heard an everlasting Bronx cheer and hung up.
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