MAR-A-LAGO, Florida – A White House insider said that the night of Trump’s horrendously, horrific, Tulsa Campaign Rally, he only got 29 minutes of sleep.
He flew down to the Southern White House, Mar-a-Lago on Air Force One the next morning.
Meteorologists have reported that an asteroid, which they have nicknamed Nancy Pelosi, and is roughly the size of Seattle, is shooting through space heading directly for Mar-a-Lago.
Ivanka Trump recently told Don Lemon with CNN, that her daddy is going crazy trying to find someone to buy Mar-a-Lago before it is reduced to ashes.
Trump called Russian leader, Vladimir Putin, who told him he already owns a $4.2 million mansion in Vermont, a 900-acre turtle ranch in South Dakota, and a 27,000-square-foot house of ill-repute in Nuevo Laredo, Mexico.
The President then called up his old love interest, North Korean leader and pen pal, Kim Jong-un, who quickly told Trump, “Hey, shit for brains, don’t be bothering me. I’m in the process of launching another missile over Japan.”