BILLINGSGATE POST: Dr. Hannibal Lecter, Jr., the son of the late cannibalistic psychiatrist, Dr. Hannibal Lecter, spoke before the Board of Taxidermy at their international convention in Bora Bora last week. In his dissertation he described the newest procedures that only Board Certified Taxidermists can utilize to satisfy the whims of the rich and famous in their quest for narcissistic nirvana.
Noting that the latest trend for liberal politicians was the "slack-jawed jackal" look, which makes the subject appear neuroleptic, combined with the puckered "chicken lip" look that movie stars and models seek to make their seductive suckers more sexually attractive to potential suckees, Dr. Lecter described to fellow board members how Joe Biden was taxidermally altered so that he could become the man he really loved.
Once more, the BILLINGSGATE POST has gone beyond the boundaries of sanity and ethics to bring you titilating news that until now, only CNN and MSNBC could bring you. In the unrelenting quest for ways to provide even more subjective opinions on the candidates, our editors hope to match these media giants in the search for veracity in journalism, without the inhibiting burdens of proof.
Slim: “I wonder if the slack-jawed jackal look would help me with chicks.”
Dirty: “Yo, Dude. With your package, I would stick with what you got.”