Many in President Trump’s Base are Having Campaign Pep Rally Withdrawal Symptoms

Written by Fannin Fabriano

Tuesday, 12 May 2020

image for Many in President Trump’s Base are Having Campaign Pep Rally Withdrawal Symptoms
Crowds at a Trump campaign rally will not be self-distancing six inches, much less six feet.

CHICKEN BONE, Mississippi – One of President Trump’s top Secret Service agents said that, for the past two weeks, POTUS has been talking about hitting the old presidential campaign trail.

He stated that he has heard and seen the president practicing such phrases as “Get him outta here”, “He’s a loser”, “It’s fake news”, and “I never poked that woman, in fact, I don’t even know her, and besides she's fat and she’s ugly.”

The Baltimore Inplier-Journal is reporting that recent polls show that Trump’s base, known as the Trumpnecks can hardly wait to put on their red MAGA caps, their Wrangler blue jeans, and their gingham blue shirts, and start hootin’ and hollerin’ for their man, King Donald the 1st.

A long-time resident of Chicken Bone, Cletus "The Pig Rider" Heathcliff, said that he is a 100% man, but pointed out that if he was a 100% woman, he would let Trump grab him by the ‘p word’.

His wife, Emma Lulu, added that she is a 100% female, and she would not only let Trump grab her by the you-know-what, but she would also let him French kiss her ear.

But overall, Trump’s base is waiting anxiously in the wings.

And when the time comes to start having the campaign rallies, they’ll be ready.

And as the Trumpnecks all say, the heck with medical masks, gloves, suppositories, and condoms.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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