CORNBREAD, Iowa – (Satire News) – The local CBS affiliate is reporting that a resident of the town of Cornbread has been taken into custody for conduct unbecoming a normal person. The Cornbread Police Department reported that a Mr. Peter P. Varshi…
MOSCOW, Russia – (World News) – The government of Russia has issued a statement which states that anyone caught without a medical mask could risk being shot on sight. The Kremlin Voice stated that President Vladimir Putin is fed up and will no lon…
NEW YORK CITY – (Sports Satire) - Fans of number one-ranked University of Alabama (8-0) are holding their collective breaths, as the Crimson Tide is being investigated for possible collegiate violations. Johnny Mariachi, director of the NCAA’s Rul…
NEW YORK CITY – (Sports Satire) – NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell says that he is not going to baby anyone; especially adult, mature NFL football coaches. The commissioner, who says that he has never had so much stress as he does now, what with wor…
Governor Janet Mills of Maine has now directed all restaurant personnel to wear dog cones upside down as further protection against the virus. According to the Governor's scientific advisors, breath directed upward moves particles skyward pronto i…
HOUSTON – (Sports Satire) - The Electoral College Astros, as many L.A. Dodger fans call them, lost to the other L.A. team, the Los Angeles Angels, 5-4. A groundskeeper reported that, during the game, he counted at least 43 hot dogs that were throw…
CHATTANOOGA, Tennessee – (Funny news story) Reports coming out of the Volunteer State say that, due to the scarcity of medical masks, some citizens have resorted to making masks out of women’s underwear. A reporter with the History Channel spoke w…
SQUIRREL NUTS, West Virginia – Willie and Billie Peckerpucker say that, due to the Coronapalooza virus, they have not been able to work at their coal mining jobs for three months. Willie said they each get $47 a week unemployment, but, after they…
INDIANAPOLIS – A high-ranking official with Burger King has just announced a summertime promotion. Plans are for BK to begin offering customers free Coronavirus medical masks with any purchase of a Burger King product. The masks will come in t…
WASHINGTON, D.C. – In a shocking development, President Trump has just learned that one of his press conference/campaign pep rally co-hosts, has just gone into quarantine for the Coronavirus. Dr. Anthony "The Straight Shooter" Fauci, the director...
WASHINGTON, D.C. – The Chicago Daily Wind newspaper is reporting that the Federal Bureau of Investigation, has issued a statement reminding Trump and Pence (the modern day Laurel & Hardy) that they are not above the law. The Daily Wind noted t...
MANHATTAN – Former anchorwoman, Megyn Kelly, says that she is tired of being cooped up in her multi-million dollar apartment. The former darling of Fox News and NBC told her husband that she is still upset with Don Lemon, and how he disrespected h...
KANSAS CITY - American Spotlight Magazine has stated that while most U.S. stocks are taking a big dive, the medical mask industry factories are working 24/7 as medical mask sales are going through the ceiling. Orion P. Hemmingway, who is the CEO o...
NEW YORK CITY – Lately the president has been criticizing New York Governor Andrew Cuomo and saying that he is asking for way too many medical items such as medical masks, band-aids, tongue depressors, and placebo pills. The governor has been resp...
BOSTON – New England Patriots owner, Robert Kraft, is being hailed as a hero in his home state of Massachusetts, the birth state of Paul Revere, Edgar Allan Poe, and Tarzan. The Boston Addresser-Chronicle reports that Kraft talked to Chinese leade...
ALBUQUERQUE, New Mexico – A very innovative local entrepreneur who we’ll call Johnny Doe, is reportedly making a ton of money manufacturing medical masks. Doe told a reporter with the Albuquerque Articulator Express, that he has patented a medical...
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