President Trump Agrees to Lend California $348 Million

Written by Abel Rodriguez

Thursday, 7 May 2020

image for President Trump Agrees to Lend California $348 Million
POTUS at his desk calculating how much interest California will pay on their $348 million loan.

SACRAMENTO – The state of California informed the president that it desperately needs a bailout loan.

Governor Gavin Newsom stated that they need to continue to pay unemployment benefits, as well as to make the state's huge earthquake insurance payment.

The governor also noted that some of the money will go to purchase medical masks, medical gloves, and medical tongue depressors for the state's first, second, and third responders.

Reporters asked him about the funds that were needed to make much-needed repairs to the La Brea Tar Pits.

He commented that $22.2 million of the loan money will be given directly to the La Brea Tar Pits Restoration Society, so that they can totally drain the swamp pits of the old, smelly, yucky tar, and replace it with brand, new, fresh, state-of-the-art industrial tar.

The governor also said that $13.8 million will go to totally replace the air conditioning system in the Beverly Hills Complex for Retired Movie Stunt Men and Stunt Women.

He was asked about the horrendous smog situation. He said that they will finally get the $42.1 million funding to purchase 10 humongous industrial fans from China.

These fans will be situated at select locales throughout the greater Los Angeles area, and, when turned on, they will blow at least 97.3% of the hellacious smog across the California-Nevada border.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Spoof news topics
Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more