TARZANA, California – State health authorities have told the owners of the Tarzan & Jane Petting Zoo that, effective immediately, they must shut down.
The popular attraction in the town of Tarzana has seen visitors from as far off as the South Pole and the Pacific Ocean island of Macadamia to Cuernavaca, Mexico and Wales.
Petting zoo owners, Wyatt and Agatha Turpintipper, said that they fear that some of the animals may have come into contact with a flock of sparrows that had recently flown in from New York City.
The Turpintippers said that, as a precautionary measure, all of the animals and birds will be flown to an isolated, unnamed Polynesian Island where they will be cared for by members of the Tickytungan tribe.
Wyatt wanted to make it perfectly clear that, yes, the Tickytungans are registered cannibals, but they do not eat animals or birds, but, somewhat tongue-in-cheek, he did emphasize that they will make a meal out of a human in the blink of an eye.
The Turpintippers ask that, if anyone would like to donate canned pellet food for the animals and dried worms for the birds, that they please go to www.pettingzoo.moo
