THE BRONX, New York – The assistant director of the Bronx Zoo has just issued a news bulletin that eight of their big cats have tested positive for the Coronavirus.
Spencer Piano told the reporters, who had assembled in the zoo parking lot, that the cats most probably caught the virus from eating horse meat that the zoo purchased from China.
Piano said that he now realizes that they should have bought the horse meat from an American company, but the Chinese meat company gave them a fantastic deal.
He went on to say that the 5 tigers and 3 lions will be shipped back to the circus in Zimbabwe from which they were originally purchased.
In the meantime, zoo workers are making sure that the cats stay at least six feet from each other.
Zookeepers were a bit concerned about Sadie the hippo possibly having come in contact with one of the tigers.
Head zookeeper Max Faxweiser said he was surprised as hell to see Sadie standing on her head.
The zoo doctor was said not to be concerned, because Sadie was just going through her change of life which is known as the hippopause.