A Tiger in the Bronx Zoo Tests Positive for the Coronavirus

Written by Abel Rodriguez

Monday, 6 April 2020

image for A Tiger in the Bronx Zoo Tests Positive for the Coronavirus
Bronx Zoo tiger Nadia Comaneci sticking her tongue out at the assembled media.

NEW YORK CITY – A 4-year-old Malayan-Himalayan tiger named Nadia Comaneci is the first animal in the history of animals to get the Coronavirus.

Bronx Zoo Assistant Director, Pixie P. Pinzer, said that Naddie first exhibited signs of the C-19 after eating her usual dinner of 18 pounds of pork and beans.

Pinzer said that Naddie suddenly started doing tricks like circus tigers, which totally shocked the zoo’s tiger doctor.

Dr. Zeke W. Underdown said that Naddie stood on her head and pretended that she was riding a bicycle, which is weird, because bears ride bicycles, but tigers do not.

Pinzer informed the media that zoo workers had actually put an N95 mask on Naddie, but she simply bit it off.

After wasting six masks, they just decided to keep her away from all of the other animals; especially the flamingoes and the gazelles.

When President Trump learned of the situation, he immediately called the zoo, and said that he could send his sons, Eric and Donnie Jr., over with high-powered telescopic rifles to take care of the matter.

Zoo Assistant Director Pinzer respectfully informed the president that, if his sons set one foot on zoo property, zoo security guards would take their rifles and put them where the sun don’t shine.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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