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Funny story: An Extremely Nasty Duck Has Been Removed From The Children’s Petting Zoo In London

An Extremely Nasty Duck Has Been Removed From The Children’s Petting Zoo In London

LONDON – (UK Satire) – England’s Zooological Investigatory Agency has just had to remove an extremely vulgar, nasty, lascivious-as-hell duck named, Donald The Duck, from the famed London’s Childrens Petting Zoo in. A representative with the ZIA, W…

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Funny story: Smash and Grab Vandals Target The Tarzan & Jane Petting Zoo

Smash and Grab Vandals Target The Tarzan & Jane Petting Zoo

TARZANA, Cailfornia – (Satire News) – The Tarzan & Jane Petting Zoo was the victim of a flash mob’s smash and grab attack. According to security video, the incident occurred at 3:05 am, when most of the petting zoo animals were sound asleep.

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Funny story: Six Assholes Arrested at The Bronx Zoo For Impersonating Zoo Animals

Six Assholes Arrested at The Bronx Zoo For Impersonating Zoo Animals

THE BRONX, New York – (Entertainment Satire) – The Bronx Zoo has confirmed that half a dozen jerks were apprehended inside the zoo impersonating zoo animals. And as one of the chief zookeepers stated, the six punks did a very fucked up job of impe…

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Funny story: South Africa Reports That Overnight Someone Stole 3 Elephants From The Johannesburg Apartheid Family Zoo

South Africa Reports That Overnight Someone Stole 3 Elephants From The Johannesburg Apartheid Family Zoo

JOHANNESBURG, South Africa – (World Satire) – The director of the Apartheid Family Zoo has just confirmed that 3 adult female African elephants were stolen overnight. Zoo Director Kimberly P. Queenscrown, 57, reported the incident to the Johannesb…

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Funny story: San Diego Zoo Apes React Unexpectedly To COVID-19 Jab

San Diego Zoo Apes React Unexpectedly To COVID-19 Jab

The nine apes at San Diego Zoo that were given shots of a COVID-19 vaccine, have responded in a totally unexpected manner, it has been reported, with several of them managing to blurt out the word 'No'. Five orangutans and four chimpanzees were gi…

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Funny story: Chester Zoo to re-open

Chester Zoo to re-open

After several high-profile news items depicting various high street retailers sponsoring the animals at Chester Zoo, the zoo has finally been given the go-ahead to re-open on Monday 15th of June. Iceland have sponsored the penguins, Newcastle Unit...

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Funny story: A Pack Of Camels

A Pack Of Camels

Scandal erupted across the nation today as two camels were born at Yorkshire Wildlife Park, flying in the face of hardworking Brexiteers and patriots who made their way back to work today, showing all the shirkers and looney left how it’s done! Th...

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Funny story: President Trump Says Pandas Are Responsible For Covid-19

President Trump Says Pandas Are Responsible For Covid-19

President Donald Trump put another spanner in the spokes of already-frail US/China relations this morning, when he blamed the Coronavirus outbreak on the pandas at Beijing Zoo. The zoo has nineteen pandas, and, as a treasured specie, they are kept...

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Funny story: The Bronx Zoo Is Sending 5 Tigers and 3 Lions, that Have C-19, Back To Africa

The Bronx Zoo Is Sending 5 Tigers and 3 Lions, that Have C-19, Back To Africa

THE BRONX, New York – The assistant director of the Bronx Zoo has just issued a news bulletin that eight of their big cats have tested positive for the Coronavirus. Spencer Piano told the reporters, who had assembled in the zoo parking lot, that t...

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Funny story: Birmingham Zoo Gets Creative to Offset Operational Costs

Birmingham Zoo Gets Creative to Offset Operational Costs

(Birmingham, Alabama) As the Coronavirus continues to keep the country in a virtual lockdown state, many US businesses have had to shutter and weather the storm. For some, it can be a simple closing of a small shop or hair salon, but for others, it i...

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Funny story: Zoo offers hunting tours

Zoo offers hunting tours

To help resolve a budget crisis, the zoo in Chaffinch St Cock has begun offering visitors the chance to hunt its animals. Prospective trophies include the rare Siberian tiger, a chimpanzee and even a woolly mammoth. Zookeeper Geoff Dung explained,...

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Funny story: LaTania Blackburn Marries a Gorilla Named Amadou

LaTania Blackburn Marries a Gorilla Named Amadou

A 25-year-old female named LaTania Blackburn, says she has finally found the true meaning of love, when, after being single for over 15 years, she married a zoo gorilla. LaTania and her gorilla/husband, Amadou, appeared on ITV's early morning show...

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Funny story: Monkey Dust Hits Stoke School in Daytrip Disaster

Monkey Dust Hits Stoke School in Daytrip Disaster

Pupils at a local Stoke-on-Trent High School were looking forward to a long-arranged day trip to a popular animal centre today, but disaster struck soon after they arrived. The schoolchildren, aged 11 to 16, were visiting the local "Monkey Forest...

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Funny story: Suspiciously Striped Zebra At Egyptian Zoo

Suspiciously Striped Zebra At Egyptian Zoo

An Egyptian student has accused a zoo in Egypt of painting a donkey with black stripes in order to make it look like a zebra. The student's photograph of the suspicious looking zebra, named Muffin, has been examined by several experts who claim th...

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Funny story: The Chimp's On You

The Chimp's On You

A rare hairless chimp called "Chimp Chop" has died unexpectedly his keepers say. He was unexpectedly hit by a bus after unexpectedly fleeing from his enclosure and out onto a busy road. The bus driver was unnerved by the unexpected appearance...

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Funny story: Animal Trainer Routinely Uses Whip and Gun On Tiger - Has Audacity To Act Surprised When Animal Chews His Arms Off

Animal Trainer Routinely Uses Whip and Gun On Tiger - Has Audacity To Act Surprised When Animal Chews His Arms Off

Toronto - A local animal trainer for the Toronto Zoo suffered severe injuries when his tiger, Meeka, turned on him during a training session and gnawed his arms off. According to fellow workmates, the trainer, Peter Dawson, 38, routinely whipped Meek...

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Funny story: Elephants Revolt Against Republicans

Elephants Revolt Against Republicans

Washington, D.C. - A recent survey of over 1000 elephants from zoos across America, confirmed what biologists who study the great, big animals have thought all along - elephants are very aware that they are the face of the Republican Party - and they...

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