After several high-profile news items depicting various high street retailers sponsoring the animals at Chester Zoo, the zoo has finally been given the go-ahead to re-open on Monday 15th of June. Iceland have sponsored the penguins, Newcastle Unit...
Scandal erupted across the nation today as two camels were born at Yorkshire Wildlife Park, flying in the face of hardworking Brexiteers and patriots who made their way back to work today, showing all the shirkers and looney left how it’s done! Th...
President Donald Trump put another spanner in the spokes of already-frail US/China relations this morning, when he blamed the Coronavirus outbreak on the pandas at Beijing Zoo. The zoo has nineteen pandas, and, as a treasured specie, they are kept...
THE BRONX, New York – The assistant director of the Bronx Zoo has just issued a news bulletin that eight of their big cats have tested positive for the Coronavirus. Spencer Piano told the reporters, who had assembled in the zoo parking lot, that t...
(Birmingham, Alabama) As the Coronavirus continues to keep the country in a virtual lockdown state, many US businesses have had to shutter and weather the storm. For some, it can be a simple closing of a small shop or hair salon, but for others, it i...
To help resolve a budget crisis, the zoo in Chaffinch St Cock has begun offering visitors the chance to hunt its animals. Prospective trophies include the rare Siberian tiger, a chimpanzee and even a woolly mammoth. Zookeeper Geoff Dung explained,...
A 25-year-old female named LaTania Blackburn, says she has finally found the true meaning of love, when, after being single for over 15 years, she married a zoo gorilla. LaTania and her gorilla/husband, Amadou, appeared on ITV's early morning show...
Pupils at a local Stoke-on-Trent High School were looking forward to a long-arranged day trip to a popular animal centre today, but disaster struck soon after they arrived. The schoolchildren, aged 11 to 16, were visiting the local "Monkey Forest...
An Egyptian student has accused a zoo in Egypt of painting a donkey with black stripes in order to make it look like a zebra. The student's photograph of the suspicious looking zebra, named Muffin, has been examined by several experts who claim th...
A rare hairless chimp called "Chimp Chop" has died unexpectedly his keepers say. He was unexpectedly hit by a bus after unexpectedly fleeing from his enclosure and out onto a busy road. The bus driver was unnerved by the unexpected appearance...
Toronto - A local animal trainer for the Toronto Zoo suffered severe injuries when his tiger, Meeka, turned on him during a training session and gnawed his arms off. According to fellow workmates, the trainer, Peter Dawson, 38, routinely whipped Meek...
Washington, D.C. - A recent survey of over 1000 elephants from zoos across America, confirmed what biologists who study the great, big animals have thought all along - elephants are very aware that they are the face of the Republican Party - and they...
CINCINNATI Ohio - You'd think a legendary musical artist who suffered for a year and a half with cancer before his death would just be allowed to rest in peace. But no, a zoo named a baby blue or fairy penguin, who arrived to this world weighing 46 g...
A dog and a cat got the Pope's blessing yesterday for a Valentine's wedding attended by hundreds of PETA members, some with their pets. "It's time to let the little creatures follow our own traditions", stated the host before the ceremony. "We her...
After the uproar at Copenhagen Zoo when the zoo owners took an inbred giraffe, killed it and then fed it to the lions, management of the zoo have unveiled new plans for future animals that are surplus to requirements. "We don't see what the proble...
There has been an outcry tonight after an 18 month old giraffe, the product of incest behind zoo bars, was put down with a bolt gun before being chopped up and sent to charity kitchens feeding vagrants and other homeless people. Young Marius had b...
BOULDER - The owner of Boulder's Noah's Ark Petting Zoo has told local authorities that the marijuana smoke in the air is starting to make his petting zoo animals act very strange. Emerson Danube, 43, stated that before the air was filled with the...
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