WASHINGTON, D.C. – White House insiders say that the president is fit to be tied over the fact that Harvard University received a huge government check.
When he first learned about the money given to one of the wealthiest universities in the world, an unnamed staffer said that POTUS fired off a barrage of invectives that would make sailors blush.
He said that Harvard needs a government handout about as much as Dolly Parton needs breast implants.
Trump got on the phone and called up the university’s Vice Assistant Dean, Sharona de Gaulle. He told her that he wants the school to return the $9 million immediately.
Mrs. De Gaulle said that the money could not be returned under the schools “No backs” collegiate clause.
At that point, Trump threw down the phone and instructed his assistant, Kellyanne Conway, to write up a letter to the college president telling him that he better return the full $9 million within 48 hours.
He then told her to add that, if the entire amount is not returned, he will send in the National Guard and they will shut down the school, plus they’ll be hit with a $9.1 million fine.
