Immigrants are Jumping The Border Wall and Returning Home at a Record Rate

Written by Abel Rodriguez

Sunday, 19 April 2020

image for Immigrants are Jumping The Border Wall and Returning Home at a Record Rate
Border Patrol agents report that part of the border wall just south of El Paso is starting to deteriorate.

EL PASO – The Immigration and Customs Enforcement Agency has just released some amazing statistics.

They are pointing out that, just since the Coronavirus hit the USA, the amount of illegal immigrants who are opting to return to their homes south of the border has skyrocketed by 900 percent.

The majority of the south-bound travelers are from the Central American countries of Guatemala, El Salvador, and Honduras.

One Guatemalan said, through an interpreter, that he was working up in Michigan, installing windshield wiper fluid containers on brand new Ford Fort Worth SUVs, but he said that he resigned his job and took a Greyhound bus to El Paso.

He said that it was definitely ‘Adios, USA’ for him. The man, who would not give his name, did say that he was making $23 an hour plus medical, dental, and a free membership to Gold’s Gym.

He commented that he saved a lot of his paycheck, and he will be able to return to his hometown of Chimaltenango, Guatemala, and will not have to work for at least 16 months.

Meanwhile, his wife, who said her name was Panchita Juanita de la Hola, said that she will return to 'Chima' and open up a 24-hour diet tamale shop.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Spoof news topics
Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more