LIVERPOOL, England – (UK Satire) – Liverpool’s Channel 92 Eye-Wittnesser News has reported that Canada is truly upset at the fact that the British government will be relocating tens of thousands of Gays and Lesbians from England to Canada. A repre…
DENVER – (Satire News) – The Colorado State Commission on Air Quality & Control has issued a city-wide alert for the mile-high city of Denver. Malcolm P. Flickerbee, a rep with the CSCAQC informed the Denver Chamber of Commerce that recent air…
CORNBREAD, Iowa – (Satire News) – The local CBS affiliate is reporting that a resident of the town of Cornbread has been taken into custody for conduct unbecoming a normal person. The Cornbread Police Department reported that a Mr. Peter P. Varshi…
SHEBOYBAN, Wisconsin – The Hey We Got All Kinds of Pets Pet Shop, keeps selling out of their unique, one-of-a-kind Covid-sniffing Hummingbirds. Store owner Lenny Soapstone, told Fuchsia Garfunkel with Ipso Facto News that his cousin Herbert, who h…
SAN ANTONIO – (Satire News) – Aviary professors at San Antonio’s Solid State College have pointed out that the egret is the laziest bird in the entire world. Dr. Galahad P. Pio stated that a group of aviary scientists have noted that the egrets ar…
A man who claimed he feared for his life, has told how he was rudely awoken this morning by the shrieking of a bird which was attempting to get into his house to attack him. In a scene reminiscent of those in Alfred Hitchcock's 'The Birds', a bird…
There are some wonderful creatures in the animal kingdom, with all kinds of amazing characteristics, but there can't be too many with a name as strange as the Cockatoo. And now, a woman who is interested in the subject has spoken out. Wendy Sok…
Minneapolis, MN - Executors for the late music icon, Prince, have announced that they will release what the singer called his masterpiece, The Weeping Feather Trilogy. From the 72-song box set, recorded over three decades, only one song has ever…
TARZANA, California – State health authorities have told the owners of the Tarzan & Jane Petting Zoo that, effective immediately, they must shut down. The popular attraction in the town of Tarzana has seen visitors from as far off as the South...
Well, readers, I'm happy to say that 'The Wonderful World Of Uninteresting Animals' series has very nearly reached double figures - or, at least, it will have in another three weeks, if I manage to keep the effort up. And it is an effort, my frien...
A man has revealed how he awoke every morning to the tweeting of birds which sounded so strange, inaccurate and random, he thought it was one of his neighbors fucking about. The sound, which is not unlike some gonk whistling, reproduces the same m...
The owner of a UK house in Norwich, who just happens to be an avid 'birdwatcher', has had an invasion of colleagues filling up his tiny living room hoping to get a glimpse of a rare bird, dressed skimpily in pink panties, getting into her morning bir...
Residents in the Battambang commune of Tapon are on high-alert this evening after a local man claimed he was attacked by ducklings. The incident is alleged to have taken place just before teatime in the back garden of Moys Kenwood, who told neighb...
San Francisco, California - Following the arrest of a score of tourists in San Francisco this past week, the city police department has issued a public service announcement reminding the public that it is illegal to feed minimum-wage workers on the...
An Australian bird discovered this year has been given the unusual distinction of being named after the current US president, due to surprising similarities in their behaviour. Researchers at the University of Wagga Wagga have officially called the b...
Here's a poem I writ when I was a bit fed up. I feel like a bird Moved to fly, or to try So high, in the sky (Or to die) And to detect a big, fat juicy worm With my beady eye I feel like a bird Special thing, on the wing For a fling, I would sing Like Evelyn Champagne King That incomparable sexy soul diva Ring-a-ding-ding! I feel like a bird And, in truth, a bit grim Hardly tr...
In a press conference on the shore of Piney Beach NJ Fred the Seagull stood at the podium and implored "I have called this conference to ask people to please be more careful with the food items you bring to the beach, many of us pipers, seagulls, and...
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