Black Magic Was At Work In Man's Bathroom

Funny story written by Monkey Woods

Wednesday, 8 April 2020

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A man has revealed how he has obviously upset someone in his neighborhood sufficiently, to prompt them to 'take up arms' against him in the form of ancient Black Magic.

The man, Moys Kenwood, 56, went into his bathroom, last night, to have a shower before bed. As soon as he walked in, he heard a buzzing, and saw a brown beetle with elongated antennae scampering straight towards him.

He screamed.

Hearing this, his wife rushed in armed with a meat cleaver.

This was unnecessary.

When she saw the beetle, however, her eyes widened, and she tightened her grip on the cleaver.

She grabbed an empty plastic water bottle, and somehow managed to get the bug inside, screwing the cap on as tight as was humanly possible.

According to her weird later explanation, somebody had sent this beetle to 'do us harm'. It was, she said, Black Magic. Tomorrow morning, she would go and see a person who knew about such things - the Boran* - and find out who was responsible for this 'hex', although she already had her suspicions.

A 'hex' is not a crime, and the police aren't interested, but it is punishable, by us doing something back to the perpetrator, but worse.

The rest of the evening was spent in a happy atmosphere talking about how best the hex could be avenged with all kinds of disgusting, disgraceful, despicable, and a few depraved suggestions.

* A person who purports to be 'in touch' with supernatural forces outside of our plane of existence. In other words, a charlatan.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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