Laredo, Texas Has Just Passed The Strictest Coronavirus Medical Mask Law in the Entire Nation

Funny story written by Abel Rodriguez

Friday, 3 April 2020

image for Laredo, Texas Has Just Passed The Strictest Coronavirus Medical Mask Law in the Entire Nation
Laredo Chief of Police Paquito "El Torito" Mariachi on top of his police horse "El Guacamole."

LAREDO, Texas – The city known as “La Queen on the Rio Grande” has just passed a law that has a lot of its residents yelling out just about every curse word in the book, both in English and in Spanish.

Laredo Chief of Police, Paquito “El Torito” Mariachi, has just advised the citizenry of the city council’s new law.

He told a reporter with the Laredo Pinata-Chronicle that anyone between the ages of two weeks and 103 years old, who is seen on the streets of Laredo without a protective medical mask, will be arrested, put in jail, and fined $978 plus tax, and a jail service fee of $21.50.

When the chief was told that no other city anywhere in the United States had such a harsh penalty, Chief Mariachi replied, “I don’t give a chupacabra’s ass about that.”

He went on, “We, here in Laredo, are proud of our Spanish, Mexican, French, and Czechoslovakian heritage, and we don’t give a tinker’s damn what people in the Big Apple, the Windy City, or the Sex Toy City do or don’t do.”

When asked which city is known as the Sex Toy City, the chief laughed, and told the reporter to Google it, or else go ask any prostitute working the downtown area.

[WRITER’S NOTE – I was curious, so I googled it and the city that is known as The Sex Toy City is Waterloo, Iowa.]

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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