Alabama Gets Emergency Hurricane Funding

Funny story written by Mike Peril

Sunday, 8 September 2019

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Official White House Photo of Alabama's Suffering

Montgomery, AL - Weeks after suffering the ills of Hurricane Dorian, the Governor of the State of Alabama asked for emergency funding to help it rebuild.

In an emotional interview on 60 minutes, GOP Governor Kay Ivey could uttered only one word. "Devastating," she said in tears.

President Donald Trump declared a State of Emergency for Alabama just after the interview was re-aired on Fox News. "Compared to what the Bahamas and the Carolinas faced, Alabama suffered a brutal blow."

A huge Category 5 storm, Alabama endured a stiff and steady breeze of 3 miles per hour over several minutes and higher than expected humidity for three days.

"The humidity really took its toll. Within days, myself and all my friends had to get our hair done," said one Alabama woman who resides near the Florida border. "The salons were so full, stylists overworked. Then I saw my hairdresser, Miss Mable Mae, cut her finger. What a shame. She can be so nice at times."

With the stroke of a Sharpie, President Trump agreed to more than a billion in funding. He redirected federal funds originally set aside for an elementary school project at a South Carolina military base.

The President stood next to his weather map now made famous with his own interpretation of Hurricane Dorian's viscious path. He had a wide grin and two thumbs up.

"Got it right again," tweeted the President after golfing in New Jersey. "Alabama I feel your pain."

The Governor of South Carolina, Henry McMaster, another Republican, supported the decision, tweeting, "Have a blessed day Mr. President."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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