Mar-a-Lago Tests Positive For COVID-19

Written by Abel Rodriguez

Sunday, 22 March 2020

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Mar-a-Lago's entire staff is paid by the U.S. taxpayers.

PALM BEACH, Florida – Members of the C-19 Exploratory Task Force have just discovered that there are traces of COVID-19 located in seven different areas of the president’s Dixieland White House, Mar-a-Lago.

One of the C-19 ETF members divulged, in strictest confidence, that he suspects that the president could have come into contact with the virus, since he pretty much touches everything in sight, especially if it’s wearing a dress, or if it’s in the food category.

When the lead member of the group was asked if they had informed the president, he quickly said that it was not their place to inform him.

When asked whose place it was, one member replied that it was Kellyanne Conway’s job to inform POTUS.

He was asked where she was, since she has been noticeably absent of late. The member remarked that it was his understanding that she was presently vacationing by herself in Salerno, Italy.

Another member, who asked to be identified only as Agent #9184, noted that at least 47 individuals attended the ritzy party. Guests had their main course choice of lobster, Duck L’Orange, Ribeye Steak, or Big Macs.

Agent #9184 did mention that the festive-goers included Sarah Sanders, Scott Baio, the two Trump ass-kissing Aunt Thomasina sisters, Diamond and Silk, and two ex-members of the Baja Florida chapter of the KKK.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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