Half A Dozen Republican Senators Are Self-Quarantining and Each One Has Shaken Hands With President Trump

Written by Fannin Fabriano

Tuesday, 10 March 2020

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Trump noted that even if he gets the Coronavirus he will not self-quarantine because he is just too effin important.

WASHINGTON, D.C. – Trump’s theory that Republicans cannot get the Coronavirus has been shot all to hell, as half a dozen or so Republican senators, including Ted “Herman Munster" Cruz, Matt “The Brat" Gaetz, Doug “Forrest Gump" Collins, and Louie “The Goon” Gohmert have been exposed to someone who has COVID-19.

Each one of the above senators has shaken hands with Trump in the last few days, and one - Matt Gaetz - has even kissed Trump on the lips.

President Trump was asked if he has tested for the virus. He yelled at the reporter with the iNews Agency, “Next question, loser!”

Another reporter with the San Francisco Nightly Herald repeated the question, and this time Trump said that the he has not been tested because he is just too damn important to get the C-19.

Trump then made it abundantly clear that anyone who tries to quarantine him will immediately get deported down to El Salvador.

POTUS angrily commented that, if he does get infected with the C-91, [WRITER'S NOTE: Trump is starting to show signs of dyslexia], he will immediately blame Nancy Pelosi, Chuck Schumer, Clint Eastwood, Jerry Nadler, Tucker Carlson, and Don “Rainbow” Lemon.

An unnamed White House source said that Melania is staying at least 47 feet away from her husband, and she actually may end up moving back to the Trump Tower in downtown Manhattan.

Even Trump’s favorite person in the entire world, his daughter Ivanka “The White House Barbie”, told her daddy that she will not get anywhere near him until sometime in late June or maybe late November.

IN CLOSING – One of the White House maids told The Washington Globe Gazette that she saw Vice-President Pence smiling as he looked in one of the White House hall mirrors practicing the words, “President Pence, President Pence, President Pence.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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