PAW PAW, West Virginia – Massachusetts senator and rejected Democratic presidential candidate, Elizabeth Warren, has thrown in the turquoise towel, as they say out in Santa Fe, New Mexico.
President Trump speaking at a rally in Paw Paw, West Virginia, is taking total credit for Warren dropping out. “It is no secret,” POTUS pointed out to the crowd of 200 plus, “that I hit that squaw woman so hard with my mean, cruel, heartless nickname, that it just got too hot for the skinny Massachusetts mama.”
Trump went on, “And so now, I can say with all the joy of a woodpecker with two peckers that the little old music teacher can now return to her wigwam and wam up some dinner.”
Trump grinned, and asked his base if they saw what he did there with the word 'wam.'
“Yes!!!” They shouted in unison. Trump glowed as one crowd member yelled out, “You are the bestest president that the USA has ever seen, and that includes Abe Lincoln, Georgie Washington, and Millie Fillmore.”
Trump beamed with joyous joy, and actually did a somersault on stage, accidentally hitting a secret service agent in the head and causing Melania to exclaim “Hey ju my shubby orange bozo estop acting like ju are Chakeera, before ju crack one of jur freegeen reebs ju silly fokker.”
IN OTHER NEWS – Italy is recalling 4.3 million pizzas it was shipping to the USA because they were found to contain traces of the Coronavirus.