Cherokee Woman Pulls Out Of Race: Burial Rituals for Pocahontas Begin

Written by Dr. Billingsgate

Friday, 6 March 2020

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BILLINGSGATE POST: As a culture, Cherokee Indians are very spiritual people that view death as a transition rather than an end. Funeral services are usually conducted by a Cherokee shaman the day after death. The bodies are traditionally buried in the ground, in the belief that they will provide nourishment to the earth. Typically, the Cherokee dead are not embalmed, nor are their organs donated.

So how will the Cherokees handle the demise of Pocahontas?

Cherokee Women: Lyrics from Aqua Tramp

Read the news in the talking leaves
About some red-skinned woman who was weak at the knees
For a blue-collared man with a six-shootin' pistol
For the time of your life costs gold by the fistful

Have you seen those Cherokee women?
With feathers in their hair
There's a name to every feather
For the land that should be theirs

Slim: “I loved the Chief’s daughter, but I hated his hatchet head.”

Dirty: “Yo, Dude. Still pissed. Pocahontas took my seat at Harvard.”

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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