COLUMBIA, South Carolina – Former Vice-President, Joe Biden, showed that there is still a lot of gas in his tank, as he scored a resounding victory in the South Carolina Democratic Primary, winning close to 50% of the vote.
President Trump sent him a congratulatory message saying, “Good going, Joey. You sure kicked old 'Pocahontas' Warren’s ass but good."
The president went on, "I heard that she has sent up smoke signals that read, ‘To all of my warriors, I hate to say it, but I think that my buffalo is cooked.’”
POTUS said that now, "Squaw Girl" can get on back to her reservation, and go back to her basket weaving, blanket making, and wigwam repairing.
Meanwhile, the other female in the race, Amy “Yawn-Yawn” Klobuchar, said that, after only getting 903 votes, she may also think about getting out of the race and going back to Minnesota, and getting back to her hobby of hummingbird breeding.
Bernie Sanders, who came in second, said that he will pick himself up, dust off his britches, re-arrange his combover, and get back to being the angry, white, old man that he is noted for being.
And Pete “The Kid” Buttigieg, who also got clobbered badly, simply replied, “Oh, golly gee.”
IN A NON-RELATED STORY – The San Francisco Nightly Herald is reporting that Prince Harry is still so extremely upset at his grandmother Queen Lizzy II, that he and Meghan have taken her off their Christmas card list.